A Jew, a Mexican, and a Black guy all walk into a bar. Bartender says: "Get the f*ck out."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats worse than finding one worm in your apple? Two worms.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a muslim behind the controls of an airliner? A pilot you rascist.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what's white on top and black on the bottom? Society

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's worse than throwing 8 babies off a cliff? Throwing 1 baby off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is the diffrence between a guy and pie? The pie taste like fruit somethimes

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's worse than Bin Weevils? Nick Clegg.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why did the rooster cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +17

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

a man walks into a bar..... the man pulls out a gun and robs the place as he is exiting he bumps into a child the child falls in the street and is crushed by a bus. the bus in an attempt to avoid the child swerves and hits a maternity clinic next to a gas station that promptly explodes. the robber so distraught he trys to shoot himself but the gun misfired and the man was arrested and was raped repeatedly in prison...he now has aids...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

cut it out ..but i dont have a scissor

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worse than failing out of high school? Finding out your mom has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A: Knock knock! A: Who's there? A: Forever A: Forever who? A: Forever Alone

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what did Johnny get for Halloween. ebola

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an orgy.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Last night I saw an elephant in my pajamas. I don't know why I went to the zoo in my pajamas.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why didn't the man kiss his wife. Because he had no lips.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why couldn't the boy ride his bike? He had no legs. Why didn't he have any legs? He was hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

me:I will trade you 5 dollars for 10 dollars blond: Okay! me: ...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats worse than dieing of Alhzymers? Anal Rape

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did phil krahn go to the store? To get one of those suits

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would've noticed and avoided it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops