What do a comb and a guitar have in common? Neither of them can climb trees.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? A watermelon is edible.

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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A guy walks into the bathroom, sits down and poops.

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What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing. He's a mute.

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Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Hey, want to hear a joke? Women's Rights

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Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

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Why is the boy severely mentally scarred? He got raped.

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why do cats hate dogs? because cats were bullied by dogs in highschool.

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What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

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minced oaths

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A rabbi, a preist, and a homosexual are at a bar... What a fine example of a well cultured community.

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Brian Singmaster. Look him up, he's cute.

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Haiku's Are Easy. But Don't Always Make Much Sense. Refrigerator.

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What's funnier than a bus full of burning babies? Nothing.

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What do you call a Mexican man in prison? A prison officer.

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yo mama so fat she's fat

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a fox stapled to his face.

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What did the dead baby say to his mother? Nothing. He's dead.

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A van drives into a car. An hour earlier, the man who was driving the van walked into a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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