What did the frog say to the beautiful sleeping princess? Ribbit

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Yo mamma so fat that she was chosen to be a contestant on the Biggest Loser and we are all so proud of the amount of weight she has lost.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Boo. Oh hey man, you got the meth?

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How many ears does Chuck Norris have? Two.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? New Kids on the Block. Wait, who?

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Why didn't the bear go snowboarding? It was hibernating

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Knock knock, Knock knock jokes aren't funny.

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Whats funny? Nick Sotelo

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Dead Babies

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Man I'm Bored Nice to meet you.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have a pie would you like some?

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "what'll it be?" The horse, unable to understand human language. Takes a shit and walks out.

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Why don't I ever lmao? Because my ass got bitten off by a bear.

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Why did the manager fire his black employee? Because he was stealing office supplies. Why was he stealing office supplies? Because he needed the money for his family. Why did he need that money? Because he wasn't being paid his full wage. Why wasn't he being paid full wage? Because his employer was a racist. Upon this analysis, the state of California ruled the case of Jones vs. Smith in favour of Mr. Jones, and ordered Mr. Smith to give Mr. Jones a cash settlement of $500,000. However, Mr. Jones was still convicted with a single charge of petty theft and was sentenced to six months in prison. His family was still awarded the settlement of $500,000. Mr. Jones made parole three months early for being an "idol inmate."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They gave here a timeout, like any other sensible parent would.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cancer.

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What do you call a female duck? A duck.

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I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned

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Q: why did the little girl cry on Christmas? A: because she got a dead cat.

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Why did the man drop his wallet? Because his palms were sweaty from a long, happy day at the beach with his family after moving into there new home.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.

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Disregard Females, Acquire Currency.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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