Why didn't the teacher ask where Billy's assignment was? Because Billy died last week. -B

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How come fat people drive cars? It takes to long to ride a bike to McDonalds

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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whats worse than snakes on a plane? terrorists

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Roses are red and blue Violets are red and blue Those 3D glasses really suck.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poetry

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Junior's love life.

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Knock. Knock. Who's There? Its Jim, is Craig home? No he moved out sorry.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Wait your turn patiently.

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Why Did The Monkey Fall Out Of The Tree? Because It Was Dead

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What do you call a gay on steroids? Noah Zimmerman!

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why did phil ruin the patio furniture? because he wasnt familiar with the grammar technique used

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Knock knock *silence* Knock knock *silence* KNOCK KNOCK! Hey! Can't you read the sign?! It's says "Do Not Disturb!"

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- Why can't the boy play games? - Because he was born dead.

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why are fire engines red? well books are red magazines are red 2 two plus two is four four times three is 12 there are 12 inches in a ruler queen elizabeth was a ruler, queen elizabeth was also a ship, ships sail in the sea fish swim in the sea, fish have fins, fins fought the russians, russians are always red, fire engines are always russian. and THAT is why fire engines are red....

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What's the similiarity between a black person and a bicycle? They both work best with chains.

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why did the chicken jump down the nest after laying eggs without flying? Because there was no ladder!

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What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They were caucasian artists.

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Guy walks into a bar and half his head is an orange. Barman: What can i get.. holy shit half your head is an orange!! How did that happen?? Guy: Magic Lamp, rubbed it, three wishes etc etc. Barman: What in the bejesus were your three wishes, half your head is an orange. Guy: First Wish – I wished for every woman in the world to love me. Barman: Right, that is ok. What was your second wish? Guy: Second Wish – I wished that I was a billionaire. Barman: What in the hell was your third wish half your head is a frickin orange? Guy: It was a silly wish. I dot wanna say: Barman: Go on tell me, I’ll give you a drink. Guy: OK well for my third wish I wished that half my head was an orange.

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Batman and Robin are about to get into the Batmobile. What does Batman say? "Get in the car Robin."

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8============D PEN1S

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What did a child without arms and legs get for Christmas present. Cancer.

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There's a fair in a small town in Scotland. In this fair is a sheep judging contest. There are 3 sheep lined up for judging. The judge looks at the first sheep and says "Wow! This is the most beautiful sheep I've ever seen! This sheep just might win!" Then he proceeds to the second sheep. He says "This sheep is even more beautiful than the first! This sheep just might win!" Then he goes to the third sheep. He says "UGH! This is the ugliest most disgusting sheep I've ever seen! There is no way this sheep will win this contest!" And the sheep looks up at him and says, "You think I'm ugly? Well I'm not."

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Whats worse than hearing a terrible trombone player? The screams of the maimed and dying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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