What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? Roast Beef Is Made From A Cow And Is Commonly Sold At Your Local Arby's.Pea Soup Is Made From Peas And No One Really Likes Pea Soup Anyway So Its Not Really Sold Anywhere.

Where does a leper go every Monday and Wednesday? The dermatologist.

your momma so ugly even she wouldnt date herself.

Why are blonds so stupid? Because our society is insecure and we need a common denominator to pick on, so we can feel more comfortable with our mediocre lives.

Why the worker did not come to work? Because he died!

Why couldn't the Chinese man drive? Because he didn't have his driver's license yet.

Why did the man steal 2 watermelons? He was a shoplifter and had a background of crime

What do you get when you cross an African-American, a bird, and ice cream? I don't know.

Nock nock. Whose there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh. ( mmmmooooo)

what has two legs and bleeds? half a dog

How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

Why was jimmy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face

Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? You would too if your name was Hjshdvcyehbretafvvba.

What did Bill go for his birthday? No where someone slashed his tires.

A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

knock, knock, TRICK OR TREAT

Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

Roses are red Violets are blue This line doesn't rhyme Neither does this one.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

How did Hitler like his steaks? He didn't like steaks, he was a vegetarian.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

What does a Mexican do in a landslide? Lose a good deal of his hard earned property to the disaster.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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