How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Why is the boy severely mentally scarred? He got raped.

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Women's rights

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What is the best thing since sliced bread? Sliced butter.

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How do you make a baby eat his food? Make one first

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What did Jimmy get for his birthday? Nothing, he was dead

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What did the mute child say to his parents for the first time? "My head hurts" Doctors later found he had hypertensitive heart disease and an aneurysm in his brain. He died later that month.

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Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Everyone on board died.

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No, I don't have ADH...- Oh look, a butterfly!!

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your mom is so old she was put in an old age home

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Your mother is so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and eat foods with nutritional value.

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How many rats live in a llamas stomach? the cats pajamas

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Boy: BRB Girl: OK. *Two hours later* Boy: Back. Girl: What took you so long? Boy: Someone asked why I loved you. Girl: Aw, that's so s- Boy: I know! I had no idea who he was! I had to call the cops.

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what's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why was the monkey sad? Because somebody stole his banana. Why was the monkey happy? Because your parents are dead.

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A man walks into a bar.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and and no legs in front of a door? A: A quadruple amputee.

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What is 69? A number that is before 70 and after 68

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Why aren't Anti Jokes funny? Cuz they're against my religion.

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Why did the kid cross the road? He was strapped to a chicken!

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank

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Someone once told me a joke. It was funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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