Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -48

LOL i just pissed on Hitlers grave! Shoudn't killed the Jews BITCH!

thumb_up thumb_down -92

Where does a leper go every Monday and Wednesday? The dermatologist.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

What did Niel Patrick Harris do after coming out of the closet? He grabbed his jacket and went for a delightful stroll in the park.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Why doesn't stevie wonder play snooker? Because it's not very popular in the US.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Which one is hardest?

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What did the husband tell his obese wife? I love you honey

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why cant Hellen Keller Drive? Because shes a women.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

roses are red violets are blue kiss my ass you god damb goe..

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +49

You say you can read me like a book, well the jokes on you. I am not a book.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they have an in depth understanding of astrophysics and interstellar travel.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did the bubble do to the wall? Nothing it is a Bubble.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did Rose throw the clock out the window? Because she's a moron.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Wanna hear a joke? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's meaner than taking a candy from a baby? Tossing the baby of a cliff

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Q: What happens when you throw a green rock in the Red Sea? A: It gets wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What is a bear's favorite televison show? It doesnt have one because it is a bear which makes watching television an illogical fallacy.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the apple tree say to the farmer? Well! since trees nor apples have the ability to talk I would say the apple tree said nothing. And if the farmer thinks it did say something he should visit the doctors to check his hearing. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Which way do gay people walk? in One Direction

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Wanna hear a joke? The 19th amendment

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Roses are blue, Roses are red. Give me your money, Or I'll cut off your head.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops