Roses are red, Violets are blueish, Without Hitler, We'd all be Jewish.

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Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he already ate his dog.

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Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

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Q: Why did the monkey climb a tree? A: To avoid predators.

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What's the difference between me and you? Dr. Dre

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Why can't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because Jimmy has no legs. Why doesn't he have any legs? Because he's a potato.

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A bar walks into a bar, it is then you realize you are in an alternate dimension.

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Women

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why did the fox jump over the pen ? it was tuesday

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The doctor comes out of the room and tells the new parents that there is good news and bad news. The couple says they want to hear the bad news first. The doctor says "your baby is black." The couple then ask "what is the good news?", the doctor replies "your baby is dead."

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10 years ago, i man got cancer. He recovered and now leads a normal life.

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So I was talking dirty to this deaf chick right...She didn't hear me.

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i hate you.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Drop a brick on her face.

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If there are 3 black men as passengers in a car, who is driving? The person who is operating the vehicle.

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Why was johny late to school? He died

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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Why did Dave not hug his wife? Because she looked horrifying from the Iraq war.

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How do you know when there's a terrorist in an airport? There's a camel in the parking lot.

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like my drawing of a white person?

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? They threw a fridge at her.

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How many perverts does it take to screw a lightbulb?

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What is brown and sticky?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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