Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll probably just land back on earth.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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What does D.N.A. stand for? Deoxyribonucleic Acid

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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what did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? cancer.

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George W. Bush

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A feminist walked into a bar and had her period

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Why did the man have cold feet on his wedding day? The wedding was outside in the winter.

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Why was the plumber very sad Because i killed his family

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Do you wanna build a snowman? Person: do you wanna live * or nah

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Why was the man running from the cops? His car broke down.

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Q: What is long and hard? A: The gun used to kill my parents.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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*via text message* Me: Hey Trevor! You at home? Trevor: This is Trevor's mom. Trevor committed suicide today.. Me: OMG! Why?!? Trevor: Because when I gave him a glass of water, it had 3 ice cubes. Trevor doesn't like odd numbers.

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Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere

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two muffins are in an oven. 30 min. later i ate a delicious treat.

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potato farming

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Guess what's funny? People voting for their own Anti joke.

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The Economy

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Justin Bieber is a talented singer.

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What do a bunch of dead babies look like in a blender? I don't know I was too busy masturbating.

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BARRACK OBAMA.............WHAT A JOKE!!!!!

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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