Why the worker did not come to work? Because he died!

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Why couldn't the Chinese man drive? Because he didn't have his driver's license yet.

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Why did the man steal 2 watermelons? He was a shoplifter and had a background of crime

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What do you get when you cross an African-American, a bird, and ice cream? I don't know.

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Nock nock. Whose there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh. ( mmmmooooo)

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what has two legs and bleeds? half a dog

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? You would too if your name was Hjshdvcyehbretafvvba.

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What did Bill go for his birthday? No where someone slashed his tires.

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Why was the little kid bullied? Because his name was Hugh Jass.

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What runs faster than a dead baby? Almost everything.

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whats the differnce between a baby and a dart board? dart boards dont bleed.

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Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

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knock, knock, TRICK OR TREAT

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I'm not as random as you think i salad.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This line doesn't rhyme Neither does this one.

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Q: Why did the little boy cry? please answer this question in the form of a 2 page essay and back up your answer from personal experiences, your readings or any other outside sources.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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How did Hitler like his steaks? He didn't like steaks, he was a vegetarian.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

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If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

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What do a comb and a guitar have in common? Neither of them can climb trees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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