What happened to the orphan on Christmas? he got raped

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What runs faster than a dead baby? Almost everything.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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knock, knock, TRICK OR TREAT

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!" Passersby notice the man is blind, which caused him not to notice the bar. He later died in the hospital from severe head trauma

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The mouse and the elephant went to take a bath. They had a nice time.

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crime in multi story is wrong on so many levels!

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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A Blonde walks into a bar. She is an abusive relationship and is drinking her pain away.

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ps3

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This line doesn't rhyme Neither does this one.

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69

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What would you call the Flintstones if they were black? N*ggers.

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Rebbeca black walked into a bar on Saturday

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How do you find Nemo? Watch the movie.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A Kinect

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Knock knock Whos there? D D who D's nuts!

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knock knock your gay

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What's worse than a School Bus accident? The Holocaust.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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What's worse than getting stuck in traffic? AIDS.

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here's a great way to ruin someone's 'knock knock' joke: Knock knock Come in!

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Why was the asian guy's eyes slanted? Your question is a very valid one that most people often wonder, but never really ask. It's called an epicanthal fold...please, NOT "slanted eyes". Many people consider this to be a derogatory description of the descendents or those of Eastern Asia (as do I, being half Korean), but most people are unaware of this and say it anyway. I'll assume you didn't know this. :) The epicanthal fold (what we have) is something that all babies are born with, but those who may not be of Eastern Asian origin will eventually lose. The purpose of this "fold" is to protect the eyes from extreme sunlight and cold weather. Most people of the this part of Asia originated in Mongolia where the weather conditions were very cold and harsh. Also, with most of this population, you'll notice that there exists some extra padding below the eyes as well. With all that white snow and the sunlight reflecting off of it, don't you think with time our bodies would develop some sort of defense for one of our most valued senses--our sight? It makes sense, doesn't it? Also, notice, that the farther south you travel in Eastern Asia the "rounder" the eye gets (their is less evidence of the epicanthal fold), since the climate gets warmer the farther south you go. Evolution, baby. So, Eastern Asian eyes are NOT really slanted. They just appear to be. Instead they just have that extra fold above the eyes that make them appear "thinner", if you will. If you want to sound halfway intelligent, please don't use the description "slanted eyes" anymore, since this will only make you seem like somewhat of a bigot (racist). (You might say it around the wrong person one day.) Sorry, but I'm just trying to give you some good advice. I hope I helped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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