Roses are black, violets are black, i am blind!

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what the orphan boy get for christmas? Not his parents

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Why did little Sarah fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sarah

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Q: Why didn't the chicken cross the road. A: because he's a chicken?

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I have read the Terms of Service.

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Why did little Susie light herself on fire? Answer: She wanted to be warm

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How many Aodhan's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Aodhan's da has already screwed all the lightbulbs...

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Roses are red Vilots are blue God made people pretty What the happend to you

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What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from their camps

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

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killing a baby and putting it in one bucket is one thing... but killing a baby and putting it in ten buckets is just insensitive

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Then what's your favorite team little white guy?

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What happens when Batman Robin and Wonder woman go on a date? Somebody isn't getting laid.

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"Have you heard the skyscraper joke?" "No." "Oh. Well I don't feel like telling it to you."

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One day I was walking in the forest when I saw a squirrel get hit by a van. It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I can't stick my dick in a watermelon.

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clown penis dot fart? dangle pussy

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How do u know when someone is horny? look at there pants

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YOU IS DUM

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? Horse semen

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I like the Tsarnaev brothers. They ran the Boston marathon and had a BLAST!

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin turned to the other and said, "Boy, its getting hot in here." The other muffin said, "WE ARE GOING TO DIE IN HERE AND NO ONE WILL HERE US SCREAM."

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Q. Why did the koala bear go to court? A. Because too many people were referring to it as a bear when it is infact not a bear.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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