When life gives you lemons, make a lemon and tamarind chutney.

Of two wrongs don't make a right what do they make? I don't know but three rights make a left

What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things. Dead babies are not funny.

"This is not a drill!" - guy holding a hammer

How do you kill a fly? Shoot it

Why couldn't the women drive? She was dead

A man falls into a lake but no one is around to help him, luckily the man can swim so he got out of the lake and went home feeling embarrassed

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

What's 5+7? Piccillo

A: Ask me if im a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

Whats worse than finding one worm in your apple? Two worms.

dead babies

A black man and a Mexican are hired as day laborers by a white man. The black man cleans the house while the Mexican mows and trims the yard. Both are hard-working and attempting to provide for their families in a down economy.

What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

Why did Billy fall down? Because his brain was replaced with a piece of toast.

Why was the panda sad? It's family died when China had an earthquake.

A man walks in a bar. He walks out.

Why can't a T-Rex clap his hands? Because its dead

KEVIN HART

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

A Mexican walked away from a construction site.

Justin Bieber

What animal is green and eats a green rockeater? A green green rockeater eater. What animal is green and eats a green green rockeater eater? A frog.

knock knock who's there? julian julian who? julian gonzalez

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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