How do black people gain access to houses? Through the front door.

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Kittens.

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What did you say? I don't know.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

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why did the fox jump over the pen ? it was tuesday

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GRAAAAAAAAAAAR.

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What did the white guy say to the black guy wearing a black T-shirt? That's a very nice shirt.

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hi

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Q:whats the easiest way to get crabs? A:at your local seafood market.

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- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Why did the unicorn cross the road? i dont know. unicorns arent real

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Why was the woman convicted or arson? She set her house on fire. Why did she set her house on fire? Her husband was beating her.

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

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Why was Susie screaming profusely? Susie has autism.

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What do you call a Mexican who gets shot on a golf course? A tragic incident.

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How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picked her up and then they had sex.

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What did the racist slave owner do when his slave refused to complete his task? Asked him nicely until the task was completed.

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Babies are like landmines; when you step on them they explode.

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Why is the grass always greener on the other side? because they have a landscaper.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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