what has two legs and bleeds? half a dog

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Q: Why don't blind people skydive? A:Because it is scary

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Why was the baseball player arrested after stealing a base? Because he pulled out a knife and stabbed the shortstop in the chest.

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i am a duck. are you a duck. yes i am a duck.

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Why can't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because Jimmy has no legs. Why doesn't he have any legs? Because he's a potato.

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What did Bill go for his birthday? No where someone slashed his tires.

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

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What do You call a black porn star from alaska? By their first or full name depending on your relationship with them and the situation.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Beacuse it was dead.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair because he had cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to.

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Why was the woman poor at driving? Because she had not yet passed her driving test.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!" Passersby notice the man is blind, which caused him not to notice the bar. He later died in the hospital from severe head trauma

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knock, knock, TRICK OR TREAT

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The mouse and the elephant went to take a bath. They had a nice time.

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crime in multi story is wrong on so many levels!

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What happened to the orphan on Christmas? he got raped

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What runs faster than a dead baby? Almost everything.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A Blonde walks into a bar. She is an abusive relationship and is drinking her pain away.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This line doesn't rhyme Neither does this one.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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