What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

once three middle easterns were walking down the street bomb bomb bomb

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what's the difference between a lamborghini and you're mother. cars don't scream when you rape them

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the kid get athsma? Genetics.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

what do you call four black people in a red sleeping bag? -a very snug sleeping bag as they can rarely fit more then one person comfortably

thumb_up thumb_down +28

the joke below me is not an anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Hey are you from Tennessee, 'cause you have a very nice accent.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

whats the differnce between a baby and a dart board? dart boards dont bleed.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's worse than getting stuck in traffic? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender brings him the beer, and the man drinks it. Then the man dies in a car crash while driving back to his family

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A black man walks into a bar. the bartender ask what he wants to drink. the black man responds , "i will have one beer please". so the bartender gives it to him and says have a nice day.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red Fences are red OMG MY FENCE IS ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Real jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

So this guy drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later the girl has a misscarrage.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A woman gets in her car to drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

do you know what's so funny? yup

thumb_up thumb_down +24

While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

If a midget is mentally retarded and always late for work, is it okay to call him a little tardy?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's worse than a dead man?  2 dead men

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A hot girl walks past a boy and the boy turns around and watches her pass. The girl sees the boy staring and asks with a slight attitude, "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied, "Well, I noticed you walking towards me and I couldn't help but think 'Hmm..she looks familiar. Have I seen her at school? No. Work? No. Somewhere else? Perhaps.' I then concluded that I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at. What are YOU looking at?"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why didnt the kid go in the pool? Because there was no pool!!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops