A mother and her kid are in a park: Kid: Why did the chicken go to jail? Mother: Because the chicken killed your father... Now we are broke living in a park and I'm gonna kill myself at noon, and so are you. Kid: I'm not doing that, and neither are you and Daddies over their! The dad is a zombie, this is the beginning of the zombie apocalypses. THE END!!! PUPPIES!!!!!!!!!

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Nothing.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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When life gives you lemons,you say thank you.

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I scream! You scream! - You've Just Been Rapped

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Your Momma is so ugly, she got plastic surgery.

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Two blonds are racing. Who wins? The first one to pass he finish line.

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Why did the man jump off of the cliff? Because he was suicidal.

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Why couldn't the little boy see anything? It was dark outside.

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What do you call a Jew on a rollercoaster? A Jew on a rollercoaster.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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What is the difference between a grape and an elephant? They are both grapes, except for the elephant.

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why did the old woman die? Because she was too old to live

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I just made up a joke! How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Seven. The ending needs some work...

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Why don't I ever lmao? Because my ass got bitten off by a bear.

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Roses are penis Violets are penis I like penis Penis

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What did the cow call the hen? A hen, what else would you call it?

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Dead Babies

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If through some strange space-time paradox, Chuck Norris ever had to fight himself, Chuck Norris would-- What am I saying, that would never happen!

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Yo mamma so fat that she was chosen to be a contestant on the Biggest Loser and we are all so proud of the amount of weight she has lost.

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What's worse than being swallowed by a blue whale? Being swallowed by a bule whale with herpes.

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What's black and white, and red all over? newspaper...

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Why does this dog have herpes? Global Warming.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops