why couldnt sally help timmy pick up his ice cream? she had no arms

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What is Chuck Norris's favorite musical theme? Tanana na na naa naa na, ta ta ta tanana na naa na ta na na.

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Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

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What do a grape and a spider have in common? Both have 8 legs..... Except for the grape.

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

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What did the man tell his parents after having sex with another man? A. I am gay.

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What do you get a black guy when he is hungry? Something edible.

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An asian walks out of math class

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was in the oven

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If I have 10 apples and you have 45 oranges how many plates can we fit on the roof? Purple because monkeys don’t fly

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everyone's always talking about the emperor's clothes, don't they know this is murica

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balls in ya mouf

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society.

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Q:Why did the man rob the bank? A:He needed money.... duhhh -Ryan Vallee

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What did the frog say to the beautiful sleeping princess? Ribbit

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Hey Caleb.

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A black man picks up his phone and calls his wife and finds out he had no wife

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What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern pornography collections.

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What's red and green? A frog in a blender

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Person 1: It's your birthday? Person 2: Yeah! Person 1: Oh.

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A man is walking alone in a park and stumbles upon a lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie appears out of thin air. The genie tells him he has three wishes to wish for whatever his heart desires. The man naturally wishes for Anthony Davis to shave his damn unibrow. He then throws the lamp at a little boys face and laughs uncontrollably.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? She was hungry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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