I hate being bipolar, it's so awesome.

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how do you kill a mexican? make him go to the cicus

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guns don't kill people. casey anthoney kills people.

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Q. What gets louder as it gets smaller? A. A baby in a paper shredder

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nine...eleven

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What did the penis say to the vagina? Nothing, genitalia can't speak.

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Why did a hipster walks into a health food store? To buy some healthy food.

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What has nine arms and sucks? An appendage-rich octopus with an inhaling habit.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on gender and environment, but a fully grown, adult, male polar bear weighs from 800 to 1600 pounds.

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-What's a real anti joke? -This.

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here i am sitting here staring at the wall and beside me is a doll, oh no its moving, i hope it doesnt lick tht popsicle, oh no it just licked tht popsicle, oh no oh no

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? Because they were part of his uniform.

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What did batman say to the Joker? I'm Batman

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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Why was the hamster not on his wheel? Because he had a stroke.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, cheeseburger.

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Yo momma's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror she decided to get plastic surgery.

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what do you get when you cross do you get when you cross a banana and a monkey? one happy monkey

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Superman: Batman, can you drive? Batman: No, but I can drive the batmobile.

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What is one of the symtoms of clinical depression? Sadness.

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Knock knock Who's there Heyyyy mackane!! ;)

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What did the goat say to the dolphin dogs don't lay eggs

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If TACOS are Mexican PASTA is Italian HAMBURGER is American Then what is pizza???..... Dough, Cheese and Sauce Just Kidding, that was bad..... Turtles..... :D

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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