Ask me if I'm a giraffe Are you a giraffe? Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the frog fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the monkey,

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happens when you are caught in the serious offense of killing somebody with intent? You get in trouble.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a bus full of lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock-Knock "Who's there?" "It's the police. We have a search warrant."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

You know what helps with sholder pain? If you lick my butthole.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's pink and fluffy? PINK FLUFF! What's blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF HOLDING ITS BREATH!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

i like my women how i like my coffee ....i dont like coffee

thumb_up thumb_down +10

yo mama's so sexy... wait, thats not how it goes

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

everyone's always talking about the emperor's clothes, don't they know this is murica

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised they are in the presence of a celebrity.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

oops

thumb_up thumb_down +8

WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why Was a guy wearing Pink pants? Because He Was Gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

In Capitalist America, bank robs you!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why does a chicken lay an egg? If she'd throw it, it would break.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the dog's chin get all scraped up? He didn't have any front legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops