Your mother is so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and eat foods with nutritional value.

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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Why did the man walk into a bar? Well hell I don't know I thought you might.

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Roses are red violets are red, the grass is red Holy crap! My yard is on fire!

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What do you get when you kill a black man? The death penalty.

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Konock Konock Uh, you spelt knock knock wrong... Oh.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the Summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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what is black and white and red all over a shot to death zebra

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Knock Knock Come In! Who me? Yeah. Ok.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

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Patrick is gay

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A Muslim blows up a bar

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What do you call Obama? - the president

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a bagel.

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Q. How did Kit Kat candy bars get their name? A. It was chosen by manufacturer.

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Q) what happens when you tackle someone with 2 legs? A) you fall over

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If you are going down the road in your boat and the pedal falls off how many cheese burgers can you eat 21 because a motorcycle doesnt have doors.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're allergic to flowers So this poem will kill you

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What's one thing a black man can't have? White skin

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Steve Jobs.

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What do you call a kid with a peg leg and an eye patch? Names

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there's two nuns cycling down a cobbled street. one nun says:ooo iv'e never been this way before! the other nun says:i'm not surprised there's roadworks and a diversion!

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A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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