What's worse than Bin Weevils? Nick Clegg.

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What would you do if you're eyes just suddently exploded? You would never see again.

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What's red and smells like cherries? Cherries

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A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Set a restriction on something she enjoys that is equal to the degree of her misbehavior.

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Why was the little boy crying? His whole family died.

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whats worse then finding a finger in your soup? - being a cook and losing a finger

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What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

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Your mum is dead

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How do women learn to drive? Drivers ED.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? She was hungry

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Why did James come back to drive the boat again this year? Because he likes driving boats and towing passengers

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Josh kissing a girl

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Last night I saw an elephant in my pajamas. I don't know why I went to the zoo in my pajamas.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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a priest a rabbi and a minister all walk into a bar and the bartender says "is this a joke?"

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roses are red violets are blue i thought i was ugly but then i met you

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Goon Bear+Homo= Corey Jacobs True Story

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Two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

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What did the Queen of England say when here servant died? Another one bites the dust!

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what does a nazi and the witch from hansel and gretal have in common, they both put people in ovens.

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How do you make a kids fall off a swing? Throw an axe at them

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A man walks into a car dealership. The salesman was nice and he bought a Mercedes.

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Why are white people typically not as good at basketball as black people? They don't have the hard work and dedication as those who are better.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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