roses are red, violets are blue, I talk to myself, and so do it I.

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Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things. Dead babies are not funny.

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whats worse than a worm in a rotten apple? 2 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 2 worms in a rotten apple? 3 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 3 worms in a rotten apple? the haulocaust. whats worse than the haulocaust? 4 worms in a rotten apple. wait wait...that was rascist,nevermind this joke.

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A man powers up his computer but then realizes he's in China.

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Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your neighbor My neighbor who? I already told you, it's pronounced "Wu". I'm very sorry, Mr. Wu

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How do you know when there's a terrorist in an airport? There's a camel in the parking lot.

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yo mama is so fat, she should seriously consider gastric bypass surgery, morbid obesity is extremely detrimental to one's health

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Why was the woman convicted or arson? She set her house on fire. Why did she set her house on fire? Her husband was beating her.

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Whats orange and looks like an orange? An orange.

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A man walks into a bar. Several hours later he staggers out and drives into an oncoming school bus, killing all occupants. He survives to live with the grief for the rest of his life and attempts to commit suicide several times.

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???????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? I cant make a good joke.

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How do you kill a fly? Shoot it

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What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

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What do you call a black guy with Alzheimer's? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

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Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

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why do black people hate aspirin? Its white, it works, and you have to pick cotton to get to it.

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Why did Billy fall down? Because his brain was replaced with a piece of toast.

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Patrick is gay

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Why do cows have tails? Because my pet rock stopped breathing.

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yo mama so fat, she wheres glasses to see better!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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