How did Hitler die? He saw his gas bill

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How many beans are in a soup? Who cares i'm starving, Lets Eat!!!

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Two muffins are in the oven, one looks at the other and says, "it sure is hot in here." The other responds, "AAhHH a TALKING MUFFIN."

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Q: What is long and hard? A: The gun used to kill my parents.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? You shouldn't eat Jews, unless your a cannibal for which you should seek psychological help.

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whats brown and black and sits in a tree...... a bird

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, but doesn't look like a duck? A horse named Quackie

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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What is Chuck Norris's favorite musical theme? Tanana na na naa naa na, ta ta ta tanana na naa na ta na na.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who, Your Doctor, you have 5 months to live

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Why did the man die? He jumped of a bridge and then got run over by a train.

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stuff and dogs {()}

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A man and a chicken walk into a bar... I forgot the rest of the joke .... YOUR MUMS A WHORE

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What did the women order for dessert? Pie.

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What is funnier than dead babies? Dead babies aren't funny, Carlos Mencia and Tom Bergeron are funny.

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what do you call a room full of one terrorist and several babies? dead babies

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Q: Why is the sun so bright? A: Because it reads books!

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What's a golfer's favorite sandwich? Well, it depends on the golfer

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What's worse than an empty bottle of Yoohoo? Literally nothing.

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Why don't you have a seat, over there?

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Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Various reasons, one of which was to visit his wife in hospital where she was suffering from a sever case of depression. The other reason was to say his last words to her as she also has lung cancer.

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A ginger rapping.

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An Arab walks into a bar. He then blows up the bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops