What do you call a file named pedo? A. Pedobear B. Toast C. Pedofile

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69

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I'm Jewish

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What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

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What's worse than a woman driver? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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Why did the Catholic priest get excommunicated from the church? He couldn't read.

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is too sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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what happens when you mix a black guy and a Mexican? nothing, it is physically impossible to "mix" people.

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Time flies like a banana.

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So I'm balls deep in this turkey dinner....... then i proceed to ejaculate into it and ruin my family's Thanksgiving along with their perception of me.

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Knock knock Violets are blue Helen Keller The Holocaust.

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Why did the blonde cross the road? Because she was stupid.

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Why did Little Jimmy never make it in the NBA? Because he died at age 6.

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Don't rape me!

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WNBA

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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BARRACK OBAMA.............WHAT A JOKE!!!!!

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Why did the blind man drown? Because he couldn't swim.

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The Economy

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Why did the dog's chin get all scraped up? He didn't have any front legs.

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Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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Why did the cow puke up his grass? Because it is necessary so that the cow can re-chew his food to aid with the digestion.

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Why was the elderly, Asian, blond pulled over by the officer? She was, and has been completely blind since birth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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