A-well-a everybody's heard about the bird B-b-b-bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, the bird is the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a don't you know about the bird? Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word! A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a... A-well-a everybody's heard about the bird Bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a don't you know about the bird? Well, everybody's talking about the bird! A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird... Surfin' bird Bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb... [retching noises]... aaah! Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa- Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-oom-oom-oom Oom-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-a-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow Papa-oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow Oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow Well don't you know about the bird? Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word! A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did one wall say to the other? Nothing, walls don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did Sally get on her 18th birthday? Herpes

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many doctors does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 is black.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do cats eat for Dinner? Cat Food.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What happens when you eat all the strawberries? They are GONE...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

i fondle myself every night....

thumb_up thumb_down -13

404 Error: Joke not found

thumb_up thumb_down -15

The WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Hello I'm a fat kid

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the white man say to the black man? We both deserve to be treated as equals although we are from much different cultural backgrounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red, Violets are blue I'm Schizophrenic and so am I

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Emma Brown..I'd tap that shit Dylan xoxo

thumb_up thumb_down -19

The man from Poland was so dumb he was eligible to live in a supervised group home.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did Sally not get her permission slip signed? Because her parents where murdered. Why did Sally not think to ask her grandparents? Because there in jail for killing her parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car or i'll shoot you

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock knock. Who's there? Ben. Oh hi! come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

dinosours eat beagles and then unicorns eat norwalls then th shiny squarles eat you then unvirse inploads

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a black priest? Holy Crap

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

69

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops