Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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Q: How many dead people does it take to change a light bulb? A: Trick question...i have sex with them in the dark

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R2-D2 is quite possibly the most vulgar character on the set of Star Wars. Every word he says is bleeped out.

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I'm Jewish

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69

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Why did phil krahn go to the store? To get one of those suits

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What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

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Why did the Catholic priest get excommunicated from the church? He couldn't read.

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Time flies like a banana.

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what happens when you mix a black guy and a Mexican? nothing, it is physically impossible to "mix" people.

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What's worse than a woman driver? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is too sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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So I'm balls deep in this turkey dinner....... then i proceed to ejaculate into it and ruin my family's Thanksgiving along with their perception of me.

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Knock knock Violets are blue Helen Keller The Holocaust.

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Why did the blonde cross the road? Because she was stupid.

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Why did Little Jimmy never make it in the NBA? Because he died at age 6.

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Don't rape me!

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The Economy

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Why did the dog's chin get all scraped up? He didn't have any front legs.

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Why did the blind man drown? Because he couldn't swim.

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WNBA

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BARRACK OBAMA.............WHAT A JOKE!!!!!

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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