So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

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What did Niel Patrick Harris do after coming out of the closet? He grabbed his jacket and went for a delightful stroll in the park.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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Why did the child with terminal cancer and leprosy get sent to the principal's office? Because his parents and brother died in a car accident, and the principal though he should be informed.

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How do you realize your life is over? You don't, but the coroner does.

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When geese fly, they often fly in a V-formation. Why is one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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Why can't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because Jimmy has no legs. Why doesn't he have any legs? Because he's a potato.

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i am a duck. are you a duck. yes i am a duck.

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Q: Why don't blind people skydive? A:Because it is scary

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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Why did the man fall down the steps? I shot him in the face.

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Roses Are Red Lemons are sour, open up your legs and give me an hour

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What did the apple tree say to the farmer? Well! since trees nor apples have the ability to talk I would say the apple tree said nothing. And if the farmer thinks it did say something he should visit the doctors to check his hearing. The End.

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Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

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Why doesn't Superman eat peanuts? He doesn't like them

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Beacuse it was dead.

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What do You call a black porn star from alaska? By their first or full name depending on your relationship with them and the situation.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair because he had cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to.

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Why was the woman poor at driving? Because she had not yet passed her driving test.

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crime in multi story is wrong on so many levels!

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!" Passersby notice the man is blind, which caused him not to notice the bar. He later died in the hospital from severe head trauma

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The mouse and the elephant went to take a bath. They had a nice time.

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What happened to the orphan on Christmas? he got raped

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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