An Asian person drove home safely.

How do you get a clown out of a tree? Shoot him in the head.

What does a kangaroo and a zucchini have in common? Neither one can ride a bike.

Last Christmas I gave you my heart but the very next day your body rejected the transfer and you died.

What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 for violence and brief nudity.

What's the difference between a dog and a urologist? A dog is a domesticated canine, and a urologist studies urine.

What happens to a red rock when you throw it in a blue sea? It gets wet

derp

what did the Mexican fire fighter name his two kids? Jose and Josbe

Why Did The Monkey Fall Out Of The Tree? Because It Was Dead

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. You know why it didn't? Because it wasn't a chicken. It was a dog.

why couldn't the man rock climb? he didn't have hands

A horse walks into a bar. The impact fractures his skull immediately, knocking him unconscious. He then dies from the resulting brain damage.

How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

A man walks into a bar and orders some grapes. The bartender says he does not have any grapes available. The man leaves.

Why did my phone crack? I dropped it.

Roses are red Violets are blue Fvck this poem I'll just go play video games.

Your mom is so fat that she is fat.

knock knock. whos there? ............... stupid kids

What do you call a blonde with one leg? Heather Mills

Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Plenty of things but you already knew that.

A zookeeper, a shoemaker, and a guy named Billy Jones walks into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we closed". So they left.

Why are the inside of a black guys hands white? Because he has worked really hard for his whole life.

How come the mexican couldnt support his family? Wendy's stopped hiring a week ago

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...