what's the difference between a bearded man and bearded lady the bearded man has a PENIS

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Your breath smells like onions.

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I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this dock and it makes me wana quack like what the hell is THAT!

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1 what do gay horses eat? 2 hayyyy 1 no horse dick

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What did the patient say when the doctor told him he had aids? "Oh my god. Are you sure?"

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why did the first monkey fall out the tree? he was dead why did the second monkey fall out the tree? he was hit by the first one why did the third monkey fall out the tree? peer pressure why did the fourth monkey fall out the tree? he thought it was a game

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What's meaty and has a poof? A meatball with a bubble.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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if quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? testicle

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Friends are like trees, they fall down when hit multiple times with an axe.

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Friends and Potatoes are similar...if u eat them try die.

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Why is One direction the best thing in the world? Becuz when 5 hot guys met each other they... Sorry I got lost in Zayn's eyes again! Now what were we talking about??????

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Religion

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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So i was walking down the street and this guy was really excited. I said "what is so Exciting?" He said "i just saw Justin bieber kiss a girl."

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Wanna hear a joke womens rights

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead black guy in the road? It doesn't matter, I cried after both

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tim rafter died no one cared

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Q: How many Jews can fit in a four door Sudan? A: Two in the front, three in the back, six million in the ash trey.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? A blue waffle.

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What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? Mittens

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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roses are red violet are blu--- blue? violets are violet! weird, isn't it?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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