Why did the blind man drown? Because he couldn't swim.

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How can an iPhone play music? It has a built in iPod installed.

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What's naughty and rhymes with CORN? Naughty corn.

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If through some strange space-time paradox, Chuck Norris ever had to fight himself, Chuck Norris would-- What am I saying, that would never happen!

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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What did Sally get on her 18th birthday? Herpes

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Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

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How do you amuse a blonde? ? tell her to go to antijokes.com ( :

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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little travis puts hedgehogs in his poop chute

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So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

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Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

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Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris

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Two men are sitting in a bar. They finish their drinks and pay the bill before leaving.

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okay.....

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Who's the cutest girl in the world? Claire Seiter.

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Whats funnier than an anti joke? a real one.

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Q: What did the Black Man say to the Mexican Fellow Guy? A: Hello.

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What do you throw a drowning guitarist? An emergency floatation device.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Marijuana

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Why did the ckicken cross the road? to kiss my ass

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Cry me a river. then try and build a bridge, fail, and walk away frustrated

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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