Why did the child with terminal cancer and leprosy get sent to the principal's office? Because his parents and brother died in a car accident, and the principal though he should be informed.

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Why did the man steal 2 watermelons? He was a shoplifter and had a background of crime

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Why are black guys so tall? Because their knee grows

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

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What do you get when you cross an African-American, a bird, and ice cream? I don't know.

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Nock nock. Whose there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh. ( mmmmooooo)

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Q: Why don't blind people skydive? A:Because it is scary

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Roses are red, Violets are blueish, Without Hitler, We'd all be Jewish.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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i am a duck. are you a duck. yes i am a duck.

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Fat people are harder to kidnap!!

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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What did the apple tree say to the farmer? Well! since trees nor apples have the ability to talk I would say the apple tree said nothing. And if the farmer thinks it did say something he should visit the doctors to check his hearing. The End.

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two guys are waiting at a train station...6 hours later one guy turns to the other and says "train aint coming"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Beacuse it was dead.

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what do you call a black guy in a cop car a cop

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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crime in multi story is wrong on so many levels!

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knock, knock, TRICK OR TREAT

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How do you get a baby to stop crying You kill it

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What did Billy get his parents for Christmas? Billy's an orphan.

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How do you know when there's a terrorist in an airport? There's a camel in the parking lot.

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A Blonde walks into a bar. She is an abusive relationship and is drinking her pain away.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!" Passersby notice the man is blind, which caused him not to notice the bar. He later died in the hospital from severe head trauma

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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