While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

Real jokes.

A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF

whats gay ? you

What did the terrorist have for breakfast? Scrambled eggs and a glass of orange juice.

Avery has crabs.

What do you call Obama? - the president

what is red and looks like blue paint? red paint.

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

jewish people like other jewish people.

Why did Billy fall down? Because his brain was replaced with a piece of toast.

Q. what did the refuge from uganda say to his mom when he was riding his bike A. look ma no hands.....

Tim's gay.

What do you call a muslim behind the controls of an airliner? A pilot you rascist.

What did the boy with Aids pray for? A gun

cot!

"Your moms so fat I jiggled my pickle and she jumped with tortoise." Is what I would say if I was retarded. Downvote this shiz!

How many Chinese men people does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Anyone can screw in a light bulb, regardless of race or gender.

How do I recover from my Pokémon addiction? Catch 'em All!

Rebecca Black was taking a leisurely stroll on a Friday afternoon. She was consumed by a lion.

Women's rights.

where do the women go? the womanarium

Why did the tortoise beat the hare. The tortoise had carcinoma thyroid cancer in the renal pelvis uterur.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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