Q: What did Helen Keller say to the bartender? A: "I would like a bud lite please" it was a different Helen Kellar

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Someone once told me a joke. It was funny.

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How many beans are in a soup? Who cares i'm starving, Lets Eat!!!

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A hot girl walks past a boy and the boy turns around and watches her pass. The girl sees the boy staring and asks with a slight attitude, "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied, "Well, I noticed you walking towards me and I couldn't help but think 'Hmm..she looks familiar. Have I seen her at school? No. Work? No. Somewhere else? Perhaps.' I then concluded that I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at. What are YOU looking at?"

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whats worse than flunking math? death.

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Why did the man walk into a bar? I don't know? Ask him. by Burflared

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what do you call an asian flying a plane? a pilot

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Two gay men in a hottub. They relaxed for about half an hour before getting out and going to the bed, where they fell asleep.

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Two friends not to far apart: A: Hey you, you hear me?! B: yes. A: You hear me?! B: yes!! A: You hear me?! B: yes, yes, what!?! A: You hear me?! B: YEEEEEEEES WHAT'S going on?!?! (gets upset) A: Nothing, I'm just checking your hearing.

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What do you call a file named pedo? A. Pedobear B. Toast C. Pedofile

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Why is the horse gay. He rapes 3 children

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Josh kissing a girl

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What's one thing a black man can't have? White skin

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What happened to the black man when his alarm went off? He got up and took a shower. Then he got dressed and went to church because it was Sunday.

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what did the robot say to the centipede. Stop being a centipede!!!! Its funny because robots have arms.

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What happens when you are caught in the serious offense of killing somebody with intent? You get in trouble.

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9/11/01 walks into a bar

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whats brown and black and sits in a tree...... a bird

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Two guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would've noticed and avoided it.

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What did Jesus say to the Easter Rabbit? Nothing, it ran off before he could say anything. They're so skiddish, those pesky rabbits...

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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whats better than a dead baby..... wait..... whats worse than a dead baby...... never mind its not that funny anymore

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Why did the boy commit suicide? Because he was bullied at school and felt it was the right decision.

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I hate being bipolar, it's so awesome.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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