Person 1: It's your birthday? Person 2: Yeah! Person 1: Oh.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven shot up his school and ate nine kids. Also before he was arrested he told six he was going to blow his brains out. Then he murdered the police and has been on the run ever since.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a minister are in a boat in the middle of the lake when a lightning bolt flashes out of the sky and hits them. Fortunately, no one died because only about 10% of those struck are killed.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What do you get when you cross an octopus with a camel? Nothing, inter-species breeding is impossible.

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What's wrong with your hand!!!!!???? nothing.

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What did the deaf, blind, poor orphan get for Christmas? Cancer

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Pavel Novak

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What do you call a gay African American Jewish German flight attendant who is addicted to many hard drugs? His name.

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A father gives some golf balls to his son on his son's birthday. The son then goes into the woods with the golf balls, and then comes out without the golf balls. "What did you do with the golf balls?" asks the father. The son says nothing. On Christmas the father gives his son more golf balls, and the son does the same thing. He goes into the woods with them, and leaves without them. Again the father asks what he did with the golf balls, and the son says nothing. This happens for many holidays to come, until the son gets hit by a bus. In the ambulence, the father asks; "One last question ,what did you do with the golf balls?" The son dies

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree ... Because it was dead

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How do you get a dead baby out of a blender? Doritos.

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Cry me a river. then try and build a bridge, fail, and walk away frustrated

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whats sad about a jew in a gas tank? nothing.

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What did the say to the host of the pool party after he pooped? Mr. TImmons! There is chocolate in the pool!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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A moth walks into a podiatrist's office, the podiatrist rubs his eyes and looks again and realizes it was just a man taking off his coat in a grandeur fashion.

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What's worse than being beaten by your Father? Well, it depends.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is large.

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What do you get when an Alabama and an LSU kid are mixed?A small child who grows up in a world of fighting and domestic violence.

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Why are girls large and round? Because they are raised by wild packs of oompa loompas.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Paris. Paris who? Paris, France.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

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your momma is so old, she has heart problems

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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