What is the best thing since sliced bread? Sliced butter.

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Did you hear the Joke about the Deaf kid? Neither did he.

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What did Jimmy get for his birthday? Nothing, he was dead

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What's worst than Rick Perry? Two Rick Perrys.

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Why happened when a clothes line walked into a bar? He got hung over

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Did you know why people actually fear clowns? Because slapstick humor is dead

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? *awkward silence* What did the deaf guy say to the mute guy? *Awkward silence....huh?*

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KEVIN HART

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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There are two types of people in this world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from camp.

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Roses are red violets are red, the grass is red Holy crap! My yard is on fire!

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What did the mute child say to his parents for the first time? "My head hurts" Doctors later found he had hypertensitive heart disease and an aneurysm in his brain. He died later that month.

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Guy 1: there is this really funny knock knock joke. Ok you start. Guy 2: knock knock Guy 1: who's there Guy 2: umm what? I don't know

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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No, I don't have ADH...- Oh look, a butterfly!!

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Never said that friend, anyway I got to put this down, people are asking why I am typing anti jokes. Well, they should all know how much I love spamming by now. ;). Now, you better do not have someone hack this site, it will be a hell of a lot easier explaining this, if this information is not recovered much later, days after getting hacked away. Give it three months, half a year or so, and I will contact you if you like. Have a nice day.

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What is worse then Hitler? Shelly's Cooking.

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minorities

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What's the difference between a white person and a chair? -The chair isn't a complete douche.

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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What's red and smells like cherries? Cherries

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What is 69? A number that is before 70 and after 68

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Q: What did Helen Keller say to the bartender? A: "I would like a bud lite please" it was a different Helen Kellar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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