what do you call a cup?... a cup

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What do you say to the man with lopsided balls? I am terribly sorry, your condition has most certainly left you socially alienated and confused.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

?2 guys walk into a bar. One gets a beer the other get water.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the man fall down the steps? I shot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Whats the difference between christians and nazis? one suppressed human rights and caused millions of deaths. the others were responsible for the holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised how far a can can preach in Chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he entered with a swine, and the muslim is embarrased for the horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why doesn't Superman eat peanuts? He doesn't like them

thumb_up thumb_down +38

when do you go to heaven? Never, it doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +38

whats the differnce between a baby and a dart board? dart boards dont bleed.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How do you get a baby to stop crying You kill it

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q: Why did the little boy cry? please answer this question in the form of a 2 page essay and back up your answer from personal experiences, your readings or any other outside sources.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was infamous for stealing people's laundry, and 6 was insecure about his bare body

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

I'm so hungry, I could eat an adequately sized meal

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Amputations.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Roses are red Violets are blue Little billy was annoying me But he can't anymore Because now he's dead In a burlap sack In the back of my truck And it's really bloody back there

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops