What did the rape victim say to the rapist? "mmfff...mmm.....mmmmm"

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What did Abe Lincoln say before he gave the Gettysburg Address? No one knows, its not documented.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I own a lawn mower Can you swim?

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wheres a good place to find funny jokes? anti-joke.com

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A feminist walked into a bar and had her period

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I drink water!

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? -A haircut

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I just made up a joke! How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Seven. The ending needs some work...

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What do you call a black person trying to swim? Wet.

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't put it in a basket.

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How do you catch a squirrel? Use a live, humane trap, and release it back into the wild afterwards.

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why did i go on the rollercoaster? because there was a muffin on it

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Why did the man have cold feet on his wedding day? The wedding was outside in the winter.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I don't have cancer, but you do. Love, your doctor.

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A white guy, a mexican, and a terrorist each throw something out of airplane Then they realized it was a bad idea and karma gave them cancer because they may have hurt someone

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"did you hear about the midget's self-murder?" "No, what happend?" "He jumped off the curb"

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Women's Rights

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Whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout boy scouts come back from camp

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Write your own

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So I'm balls deep in this turkey dinner....... then i proceed to ejaculate into it and ruin my family's Thanksgiving along with their perception of me.

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What's better than a gold medal in the special olympics? ICE CREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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