roses are red, violets are purple, sugar is sweet, and so are... hmmm...

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So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

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Your momma's of a reasonable figure and weight.

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How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

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Why are blonds so stupid? Because our society is insecure and we need a common denominator to pick on, so we can feel more comfortable with our mediocre lives.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because-- ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????? ??????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????

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how do you kill a blonde? -a gun, knife or any other lethal object

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What do you call a pickle with a cape? A pickle with a cape

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Why did the child with terminal cancer and leprosy get sent to the principal's office? Because his parents and brother died in a car accident, and the principal though he should be informed.

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Why are black guys so tall? Because their knee grows

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What do you call 4 Mexicans hopping the border? 4 Mexicans in search of a better lifestyle from poverty.

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What do you get when you cross an African-American, a bird, and ice cream? I don't know.

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Why did the cow go moo, because its a cow

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Why didn't the man show up for work on Monday? He gets Mondays off.

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Nock nock. Whose there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh. ( mmmmooooo)

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Q: Why don't blind people skydive? A:Because it is scary

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Roses are red, Violets are blueish, Without Hitler, We'd all be Jewish.

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i am a duck. are you a duck. yes i am a duck.

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What type of food was the black guy eating? fruit, he is on a diet

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Fat people are harder to kidnap!!

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What did the apple tree say to the farmer? Well! since trees nor apples have the ability to talk I would say the apple tree said nothing. And if the farmer thinks it did say something he should visit the doctors to check his hearing. The End.

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two guys are waiting at a train station...6 hours later one guy turns to the other and says "train aint coming"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Beacuse it was dead.

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womens rights!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops