Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

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Why couldn't the mexican feed his family? Because a large percent of mexican immigrants in the United States do not have jobs due to dicrimination against illegal immigrants crossing the soutern border, thus rendering them more vunerable to unemployment is that is vastly present in the United States.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Satan. Oh **** go away.

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What's funnier than Man on Woman domestic abuse? Nothing.

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Why did the man burn his face? He went into a fire. :D

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That long? I was thinking more like two hours? An hour?

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Roses are red, Violets are violet. You guys really suck at making poems...

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head.

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I love you Itachi Uchiha, please let me lick ice cream off of your body and oh crap you're an anime character and not real never mind

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one fish two fish red fish kill the fish

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What was the worst part when 3 Mexican men fell off a cliff? They each were active in the community and had jobs.

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what's faster than a jet? a speeding bullet. what's faster than a speeding bullet? light.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT SALLY.

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did you know the leading cause of funerals is death?

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Did you know it is impossible to say "Good eye might" and not sound Australian...

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Why didn't Dave buy his wife a watch for her birthday? Because she already had one.

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A Man walks into a car dealership and asks the salesman "How many of these Blue ones do you have in stock" ? The salesman looks at the Man and begins to cry. "Why are you crying" asks the Man "I had a dog named Blue once" replied the salesman. And then he ate a taco in front of the Man,wiped his hands on his slacks and slowly backed away from him. The Man thought to himself..."Gee I'm hungry" and left the car dealership to go buy a taco instead.

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Why did Mary fall of the tire swing? Because she's a dumbass

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If i was a chicken i would probably not be on this site. But i am, so you can all suck it!!!! BAHHHH i'm a frog EJ

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Rock mattress.

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a muslim walks in to a bar... there were no survivors

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Why did the bird fall? It was an ostrich

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What is brown and smells? Poop

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Lol you are really adorable, is more like maybe we will ask you some time, but hey, if you are asking, I mean you are beautiful, insecure, easy to break... I am totally joking by the way, you are completely down to earth, you are sweet, you know what you want, etc etc, hey, and to know what you want in life you got to be confident. Wait a second... I "act" like a savage? Lawl, "streams of OceANUS catchphrase"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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