what's long, skin colored, erect, and limp? a finger.

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

Why can't a T-Rex clap his hands? Because its dead

What do you call a fat Mexican? Whatever his name is.

Stevie wonder walks across the road without looking both ways.

What's longer then Kim Kardashian's Wedding? 73 days.

Q. How did Kit Kat candy bars get their name? A. It was chosen by manufacturer.

What's the difference between a mouse and a dinosaur? A lot.

why did the boy have no friends ? Because he lived in a small cottage miles away from any civilization with his overly strict parents who would not let him see the daylight and deprived him of any kind of childhood, he has no social skills and does not know how to interact with other human beings at no fault of his own. he is also dead

An octopus walks into a bar. The people in the bar, realizing the potential of danger, stand up and leave the bar quietly.

What has four legs, its yellow with black spots, and can run as fast as a Cheetah? Another Cheetah

If you are going down the road in your boat and the pedal falls off how many cheese burgers can you eat 21 because a motorcycle doesnt have doors.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Why didn't the black man pay for his child support bills? He made some unwise financial decisions in the past and is working three part time jobs just to stay afloat.

What's white and sticky? Glue

how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

Why did Tommy cry? His tear glands emptied out of his eyes

Why did the monkey scream? He was hungry

what happened to the chicken that crossed the road? it got hit by a taco truck

A black man is packing heat while driving his car. He is a police officer

What did Abe Lincoln say before he gave the Gettysburg Address? No one knows, its not documented.

What did the rape victim say to the rapist? "mmfff...mmm.....mmmmm"

Roses are red Violets are blue I own a lawn mower Can you swim?

wheres a good place to find funny jokes? anti-joke.com

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...