Two men are sitting in a bar. They finish their drinks and pay the bill before leaving.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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roses are red violets are blue god made me pretty what happened to you?

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Why did Sally Fall Off The Swing? She had no arms Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally

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If i was a chicken i would probably not be on this site. But i am, so you can all suck it!!!! BAHHHH i'm a frog EJ

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Whats funnier than an anti joke? a real one.

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Why did Harry go to the store? He was out of food.

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What do you throw a drowning guitarist? An emergency floatation device.

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What did the shark say to the boat captain? So do you prefer cards or pool?

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Why did the ckicken cross the road? to kiss my ass

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Why did Sally not get her permission slip signed? Because her parents where murdered. Why did Sally not think to ask her grandparents? Because there in jail for killing her parents.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree ... Because it was dead

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Small titties.

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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What does a mexican do when he gets lost in the woods? He does his best to find food, shelter, and water until a search and rescue operation finds him.

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When is a joke funny? When you read it.

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What's black, over twelve inches long, and has a hard time fitting in tight spaces? my double stroller.

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Q:"Wanna Here a Joke?" A:"Yea Sure" Q:"Why can't Stevie Wonder read?" A:"Umm....because he's blind?" Q:"No, because he's black."

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What did the plane say after it flew into the World Trade Center on 9/11 Nothing, planes are incapable of speaking.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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How many feminist does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it in, the other to suck a dick.

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Whats the difference........ between a duck?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 recently got out of prison for violent rape.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a truck? You drive a truck, Michael Jackson has anal sex with little boys.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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