How did the blond's brain cells die? She had a very acute case of Parkinson's disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Dead Babies

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock Who's There? ... knock a door run

thumb_up thumb_down +14

If I have 10 apples and you have 45 oranges how many plates can we fit on the roof? Purple because monkeys don’t fly

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is too sparsely populated and not economically viable.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the Catholic priest get excommunicated from the church? He couldn't read.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest but you mom is a whore

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

An octopus walks into a bar. The people in the bar, realizing the potential of danger, stand up and leave the bar quietly.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I like my women like I like my coffee... Without a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

FOLLOW ME @airvvv

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What does a person that is fasting get for Christmas? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why can't Michael Jackson play Chess? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Nathan Gooderson.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man is walking alone in a park and stumbles upon a lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie appears out of thin air. The genie tells him he has three wishes to wish for whatever his heart desires. The man naturally wishes for Anthony Davis to shave his damn unibrow. He then throws the lamp at a little boys face and laughs uncontrollably.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why does this dog have herpes? Global Warming.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock Violets are blue Helen Keller The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why don't you have a seat, over there?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is fat and ugly? Your American MUM!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops