If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms ... Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie

Why was the woman poor at driving? Because she had not yet passed her driving test.

Why was poor justin killed His mother kicked him into a pool of blood-thirsty aligators.

What do you call a jew with no money It doesn't really matter because all jews have money

Need homeless tips? Get A Job.

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair because he had cancer

Why did the woman drop her baby? she had a stroke.

what do you call four black people in a red sleeping bag? -a very snug sleeping bag as they can rarely fit more then one person comfortably

A Mexican walks into a club.

crime in multi story is wrong on so many levels!

Why did the man stay in the basement? Because he was addicted to pornography and it was tearing his family apart. Eventually he was unable to tell the diffidence between fantasy and reality and sexually assaulted his 13 year old niece.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

A squirrel got killed by getting hit by a truck haha its funny cuz the squirrel died

Roses are red Violets are blue I rhyme like lil Wayne Fridge

Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon A: Ones fun to beat with a sledgehammer, the other ones a watermelon

what do you call a black guy in a cop car a cop

Why was Susie screaming profusely? Susie has autism.

Whats orange and looks like an orange? An orange.

Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

The little mouse lifted the giant Elephant up so the Elephant could reach the bag of snacks, but then the Elephant said: I cant reach it, you must be tired so lets switch places... Squish: Squish! Elephant: Mouse! Where are you! *looks at "squish" NO! THIS WAS NOT THE WAY THE JOKE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!!!! Moral: Elephants cant talk...

why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

why did the baby cross the road? i stapled his head to a chicken!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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