What did one wall say to the other? Nothing, walls don't talk.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why did Jim laugh so hard? Triangle!

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i fondle myself every night....

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A semi-coherent black man was wandering down the street toward an open garbage receptacle. Immediately an angry, filthy raccoon jumped up, hissing and baring its fangs, as if to defend its territory against the startled negro. This happened four times in a row. Each time it was either a negro, a mexican, a crippled kid or a person of jewish ancestry. Each time the raccoon hissed viciously. Coincidence? No. The raccoon was obviously very hungry and attempting to defend its last remaining refuge of territory from the ever-increasing encroachment of man's filth into the formerly natural and pristine spaces where wildlife once lived. He is now reduced to hissing at the ethnics and the cripples, just to eek out a pitiful subsistence on trash.

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*Knock* *Knock* Who's there? The IRS

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Until I lost both my arms.

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What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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Justin Bieber

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Your mom goes to college

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Whats 0+0 0

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a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

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why was the man coughing? because there was a knife in his throat.

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Why do you put a baby in the blender but first? To see the facial expressions

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What does spongebob do to get high. Nothing, spongebob doesnt exsist.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben. Ben who? Ben Dover.

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How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Open the door and let him in. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? Open the door and let the elephant out then give the giraffe a reasonable amount of time to enter.

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I'm not wearing underwear Why not Cause I have built in underwear

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Waseem likes to talk with his mouth full.

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"So, how's life in North Korea?" "Well, I can't complain."

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What's the difference between a black man and water? All black men have water in them, but not all water has a black man in it.

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In Soviet Russia, you shit on bird.

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A Jew, a lesbian, and an Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender then cards them and sends them out because they're all under 21.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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