What did the carrot say when he was Chopped. Auch.

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Why did the boy cross the road? Because he was on his way to a friends house, after being kicked out yet again because his parents are homophobes and can't come to terms with his sexual preferences. When he got there, his friend was already asleep and he had to sleep in the gutter. He then got a cold and died because his immune system had been weakened by aids. His parents still didn't accept him, and didn't go to his funeral.

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what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

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Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

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a man walks into a bar..... the man pulls out a gun and robs the place as he is exiting he bumps into a child the child falls in the street and is crushed by a bus. the bus in an attempt to avoid the child swerves and hits a maternity clinic next to a gas station that promptly explodes. the robber so distraught he trys to shoot himself but the gun misfired and the man was arrested and was raped repeatedly in prison...he now has aids...

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WNBA

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Not Steve Jobs.

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Why do horses read books? We are all doomed...

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Like this joke

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what did the joke say to the anti-joke? do you want to fight

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whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A. Genetics.

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What do you call a chicken with its head cut off? A dead chicken. Most likely ready to be cooked/eaten

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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how do you say desk in spanish? escritorio

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How do you make a blond cry? Rape her

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What do you call a black person trying to swim? Wet.

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Whats pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff

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cut it out ..but i dont have a scissor

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Cheese on toast.

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A man is walking alone in a park and stumbles upon a lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie appears out of thin air. The genie tells him he has three wishes to wish for whatever his heart desires. The man naturally wishes for Anthony Davis to shave his damn unibrow. He then throws the lamp at a little boys face and laughs uncontrollably.

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What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

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How do you get your wife to stop nagging? chop off her head

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair, fuzzy wuzzy had cancerand died

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If I have 10 apples and you have 45 oranges how many plates can we fit on the roof? Purple because monkeys don’t fly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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