What did batman say to robin befor they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her? They gave her a stern talking to and then grounded her for a couple days.

Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

What do you call a black guy flying a plane. A pilot

What do you call a man with three arms and three legs and no nose. A highly unlikely instance that no one would believe is real.

how many jews did hitler kill during the holocaust? too many jews

What's the difference between a Jew and a black person? Black people are good at running.

How do you find Nemo? Watch the movie.

what do you call a black guy in a cop car a cop

Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for his birthday? Broken arms and legs

Whats worse than HIV? AIDS

A Mexican walked away from a construction site.

2 blonds are driving on the road on their way to Disney Land. They come to the sign that says Disney Land left so they started crying, turned around and went home.

What do you call a Jewish lawyer, who is happily married to a woman, but goes and sees a man on the side? A gay Jewish lawyer who cheats on his fake wife.

Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

Justin Bieber

Of two wrongs don't make a right what do they make? I don't know but three rights make a left

Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

2 gingers went to a pumpkin patch... And nobody ever found them( life lesson, don't take your ginger to a pumpkin patch)

How many blondes does is take to screw a man? one and a condem

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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