how do you kill a mexican? make him go to the cicus

What did the man who was punched in the throat say to his friend?

What did little Robbie get for Christmas? AIDS

If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? It is an assessment intended to measure the respondents' knowledge or other abilities.

A man farted. Another man walked away.

A woman goes to the hospital to receive an ultra-sound after taking a pregnancy test a few weeks before. The doctor comes out and says "Congratulations Susanne would you like to know the results? Susanne says "No thank you." Then, the doctor says "Good, because its actually a retarded baby that we found."

What do Laura Bush and 9/11 have in common? George Bush did them.

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Bob (laughing): Jared fell off of a cliff Jim: What's so funny about that? Bob: Nothing. I'm laughing at the girl that just fell out of a tree into a giant tub of peanut butter!!!

Why did a hipster walks into a health food store? To buy some healthy food.

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What is the difference between a black man and a bike? Bikes are not human beings and therefore cannot experience the ups and downs a human being experiences.

How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on gender and environment, but a fully grown, adult, male polar bear weighs from 800 to 1600 pounds.

-What's a real anti joke? -This.

baby seal walks into a bar

There was a blond girl, a redhead, and a brunette. They all walk into a hotel and are granted equally friendly desk service because hair color is not a reliable indicator of intelligence or economic status.

The fitting room is a lie. Nothing fit me at all.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

What's white and comes out of a long black stick? Milk with a long black straw.

Superman: Batman, can you drive? Batman: No, but I can drive the batmobile.

what do you call a duck with no legs? a sitting duck

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

when life gives you 100 reasons to cry, you should cry. you're lucky you haven't killed yourself at this point

haiku's are stupid, and do not always make sense, refrigerator.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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