friends are like potatoes. if you eat them, they die.

What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? Me :'(

What did the tree say when it was cut down? Nothing, it's a tree

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is a real guy. Sorry kids.

An Asian person drove home safely.

How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

Why did Debby drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus.

roses are red violets are blue chickens are white and yellow trees are green and brown my yellow shirt is purple oh shit my dog died

old mcdonald had a farm had..... he now lives in the city

dj miky

Why did the boy fall out of his tree house? the tree house was hit by lightning

why did the 70 year old white barber refuse to cut the black man's hair... It's because the old man's wife died just two weeks prior to this appointment and he is not in the current mental state to be wielding a pair of sharp sicors near another man's neck. This has happened many times between him and his customers in the past week, and his client base is lessening because of this.

Hi

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

if rooster puts egg on roof, in what direction it will roll? There was no egg

What’s funnier than cancer? Most things, really.

Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Plenty of things but you already knew that.

What's the only type of wood that doesn't float? Natalie wood.

What happens to a red rock when you throw it in a blue sea? It gets wet

How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares

A man and a prostitute walk into a bar. they have a few drinks then proceed to a hotel room where the man has sexual intercourse with the woman in exchange for money. The man then leaves while the woman stays in the hotel room and cries cause she hadn't achieved any of her dreams or life ambitions.

How come the mexican couldnt support his family? Wendy's stopped hiring a week ago

Why did my phone crack? I dropped it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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