Q: what did the boy get for Christmas A: a new wheel chair his legs were recently amputated due to the same cancer that killed terry fox.

Where does a leper go every Monday and Wednesday? The dermatologist.

How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

your momma so ugly even she wouldnt date herself.

What do you call a black man with scissors.? A Barber.

Did you hear that Hellen Keller went driving? Now she's also paralyzed.

GAY PEOPLE

Which one is hardest?

Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he already ate his dog.

A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink, the bartender says nothing. He was a mute.

Who can jump higher than a mountain? Everyone, mountains are incapapable of jumping.

Patiant: Doctor Doctor i feel like a pair of curtains Doctor: ok Patiant: what shall i do ? Doctor: Go how and stop wasting my time

Women

A welsh guy walks into a pub. This something any average guy would do.

guess what Beethoven is doing right now. de-composing

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms ... Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie

What does Lady Gaga call Hitler? Nothing special because she doesn't refer to him in everyday's speech.

what do you call four black people in a red sleeping bag? -a very snug sleeping bag as they can rarely fit more then one person comfortably

Need homeless tips? Get A Job.

Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon A: Ones fun to beat with a sledgehammer, the other ones a watermelon

Roses are red Violets are blue I rhyme like lil Wayne Fridge

Why did the man stay in the basement? Because he was addicted to pornography and it was tearing his family apart. Eventually he was unable to tell the diffidence between fantasy and reality and sexually assaulted his 13 year old niece.

boobs

A squirrel got killed by getting hit by a truck haha its funny cuz the squirrel died

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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