why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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Scenario: 2 guys with big feet and a camels Anus are hiking on Mount Everest with a set of elephants dildos Man 1: what's the difference between a Volkswagen and a clock? Man 2: what? Man 1: you can't toboggan of a green house roof with a tub of Vaseline and a ostrich party on lady gaga's Anus

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what do you call a duck with no legs? a sitting duck

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So this is an anti-joke website, right?

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d

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What do you get when you cross a lion with a rhinoceros? A trip to the hospital and animal cruelty charges.

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I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

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So I'm balls deep in this turkey dinner....... then i proceed to ejaculate into it and ruin my family's Thanksgiving along with their perception of me.

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Q:Waht did the blind deaf kid get for chrismas? A: Cancer

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Why was the little boy sad? Because a stranger stole his shirt.

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Why did the old lady but her Jelly In her roller skates and dress them up like a doll? She has Dementia

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Two Jewish Rabbis are sitting in a sandbox....

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I heard you let the cat out of the bag. It died.

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What's the opposite of Them Cox? Deez Nuts

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knock knock hows there sorry but i was to lazy to think of an ending

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Why did the Jew ask for a napkin? something funny about the holocaust

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good. The food I placed in the refrigerator a few hours ago will now be cold.

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What did the homeless guy do when he saw a bucket? He peed in it

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Your momma's so fat she has fat rolls on her stomach.

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How did Notre Dame football stay so popular in spite of decades of mediocrity? Catholicism.

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What do u call a gay guy with a long dik Dickgimme a lick

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Penis

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What's the difference between The Holocaust and baking pizza? Pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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Two strangers are sitting at a bar having a drink. One is a young, fat, red-headed guy named Fred. The other is an elderly grey-haired man. After a while, Fred turns to the old man and awkwardly asks: "Excuse me sir would ya' mind givin me some advice? There's this girl who has sat next to me on the bus every morning for the past three months. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She always smiles and winks at me. I wannna ask her on a date but every time I go to do it I freeze. I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm falling for this girl and I don't know what in the world to do. Any tips?" The old man continues to sit quietly, slowly sipping his drink. After a while the old man looks at Fred. "Hmmm" says the old man, as he thinks over Fred's question. "What is your name son?" He asks Fred. "It's Fred sir," replies Fred. "Hmmm," the old man says again as he continues to think over Fred's question. The old man then stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots Fred in the face. Fred never saw it coming.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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