Why did phil krahn go to the store? To get one of those suits

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the necessary mental ability or muscle structure to complete said task.

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Why didnt the kid go in the pool? Because there was no pool!!

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I scream. You scream. We all scream.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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How are a plum and a rabbit alike? Theyre both purple except for the rabbit.

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Q: What is long and hard? A: The gun used to kill my parents.

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Women's rights.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Cheese on toast.

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Shit I forgot to put the slash. Thang god for google

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What did the drug addict get for Christmas? He got hepatitis, fired from his job, and nothing from his family because their relationship was badly damaged by his addiction.

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Why does 4 +5 = Hitler? It doesnt it equals 9.

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What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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What's a golfer's favorite sandwich? Well, it depends on the golfer

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how do you say desk in spanish? escritorio

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Your mom is so ugly that your father married her because of emotional, spiritual, and intellectual compatibility, not because of sexual attraction.

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AVI IS A FAG

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A white guy, a mexican, and a terrorist each throw something out of airplane Then they realized it was a bad idea and karma gave them cancer because they may have hurt someone

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one day tiarnan got banged by a goat

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

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Billy: Mom.... Dad, I have decided that I want to live on my own. Parents: Great son! We're so proud of you! Billy: Thanks for your support! Your luggage is outside by the taxi.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Dick! Dick who? Dick Stewart, your neighbor from next door!

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What did the cow call the hen? A hen, what else would you call it?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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