i am a duck. are you a duck. yes i am a duck.

Golf.

Patiant: Doctor Doctor i feel like a pair of curtains Doctor: ok Patiant: what shall i do ? Doctor: Go how and stop wasting my time

What did the Ethiopian eat for dinner? Nothing

Wanna hear a joke? No.

A fish swims into a wall. Says dam.

A mute says to a paraplegic: You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

your mother's head is so big that she wears very big hats.

when do you go to heaven? Never, it doesn't exist.

why did every one in the world die? a Train pooped it's pants.

A black man walks into a predominantly white bar and is laughed at hysterically, the man is a world class comedian.

Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

why did bully fall of his bike He was eaten by a fridge

i hate you.

Adam Sandler.

i like my women like i like my coffee...big boobs

Why was johny late to school? He died

come along children

Need homeless tips? Get A Job.

Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play.

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

The awkward moment when you notice its 2012 and we're all gonna die, so you buy and elephant and name him John.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he wanted to

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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